Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In America we eat man semen.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
two words...techno handjob
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
