yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize