I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
