So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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