grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
