I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
