Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
