never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
