I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
