Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just high enough for therapy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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