i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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