Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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