i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
