I want you more than these girls want KFC
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize