I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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