i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
