we're blogging at a bar
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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