We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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