we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
this hospital has no fireball
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
