I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
