sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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