Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize