I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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