I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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