Can Purell be used as lube?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
