Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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