it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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