I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
only if we run a train.
done.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
