I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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