I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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