so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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