in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
