Pants 0. Shit 1.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
