Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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