last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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