it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
