Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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