Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize