Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
