I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
