the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
