Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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