i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
