Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize