i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
