Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
only if we run a train.
done.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
