So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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