You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
