ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
