Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
