There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize