Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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