I'm jealous of your bromance
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
