i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
