i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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