I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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