The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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