the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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