i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
