See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
