Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he thought i was a dude.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
