I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
